CLEAR
Travel To The USA a No-Go in 2025 is the latest column (May 12, 2025) from Coffin Ed‘s The Naked City column – exclusive to City Hub.
It was once the travel destination that Australians of all ages longed for. For the kids it was inevitably a trip to Disneyland and Universal Studios and for adults the big buzz of New York or the naughtiness of Vegas. A hop across the pacific to the good old USA was on many a bucket list, and Aussie tourists flocked to the land of the free and the home of the brave.
And then there was Donald Trump – even worse, for the second time around! He has only recently racked up 100 days in his second term as president, yet the havoc he has created through his tariffs and other diplomatic blunders has ricocheted throughout the world.
Whilst 77,284,118 Republicans voted for Trump, it might seem unfair to blame America at large and avoid it as a tourist destination, but that’s what seems to be happening. Our good friends the Canadians, grossly offended by Trump’s tariffs and calls for them to become the 51st state, were amongst the first to shun travel to the US – especially for recreational purposes.
Apart from the Australian Rugby League and their season launch in Sin City, it appears many Australians might be following suit.
A recent poll of 1509 Australians aged 18 to 65, commissioned by our Tourism and Transport Forum, indicated fewer people were planning a trip to the US from March 15 to May 15 than the corresponding period 12 months ago. This was largely attributed to the low Australian dollar versus the US currency and some wild fluctuations due to the Trump tariffs. Could it also be that Trump himself, and the regime that currently supports him, are a turnoff for many fair-minded Australians?
A boycott might be a moral necessity if you happen to be a local Catholic, given Trump’s recent despicable behaviour. At the Pope’s funeral at the Vatican he was the only head of state who chose not to wear the requested black suit. There he was, sitting in the number one prime position in his standout ‘blue’ suit, constantly chewing gum and surfing the net on his phone.
More recently he posted an AI-generated image of himself as the Pope on his Truth Social platform, which the Catholic community and Italian media have described as “mockery” and “pathological megalomania”. There are over 60 million Catholics in the USA, and theirs must have been universal disgust.
So forget about the usual tacky US tourist traps. What about a tour that encompasses the real USA today, a Trumpian dystopia complete with complimentary fentanyl on arrival and a Trump Bible on departure? You arrive at LAX to find a fleet of Teslas awaiting to chauffeur you to your accommodation. Never mind that the doors and windows have all been kicked in and it’s plastered with anti-Elon graffiti.
Right next door is a Venezuelan family of six, a group of newly arrived refugees, looking to start a new life in Trump’s ‘greatest country on earth’. The kids are a bit noisy as you are trying to sleep but the next morning they have all gone, whisked away by Trump’s gestapo of deportation thugs.
America is of course awash with evangelicals and no visit would be without a service at one of the multi-million dollar mega churches. The minister for the day is the obscenely rich Kenneth Copeland, a preacher who once described Trump as ‘led by the spirit of God’. Don’t worry, you will all be given a sealed enveloped full of monopoly money if you require an official blessing, and to facilitate a hassle free departure.
New York can be super pricey, especially if you have just blown a motza on xylazine, so you won’t be staying at the Trump Hotel at 1 Central Park. Luckily the Special Housing Unit of the Metropolitan Correctional Center has just been turned into a backpackers and tonight you’ll be bedding down in the very cell where Trump’s notorious buddy Jeffrey Epstein was found dead. Best to go along with the bullshit suicide verdict, or you might find yourself a long term resident and the security cameras turned off.
Finally, the highlight of your American tour! It’s a mock deportation and not to worry, you won’t be shuffled off to some horrendous concentration camp in El Salvador. A group of thug-like ICE enforcers (all paid actors) will break into your hotel room at 3.00am and manhandle you to the airport – all part of the experience!
Australia will never have looked so good or welcoming as you step off the plane back in Sydney, clad in your orange jumpsuit.
Forget about the Grand Canyon, Graceland and the Golden Gate Bridge – book your next holiday to Katoomba, Woy Woy or Bundeena, and those lousy, money-grabbing, tariff-imposing yanks won’t get a cent.
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