A highly opinionated deep dive into our great state’s watery best (and somewhat less best).
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a senior writer.
The summer heat was blessedly tolerable until recently. Typically, by July we’re well into the cursed dog days, with the annual tradition of kvetching about record-breaking triple-digit temperatures dominating conversations from Beaumont to El Paso and Perryton to Brownsville. Indeed, this is normally the time of year when folks in Texas start to quietly reflect on life choices having to do with where they’ve chosen to live out their hot, sweaty, miserable lives. “I hear it barely gets into the eighties in Santa Fe.” And yet here we are.
But you know the familiar old maxim that goes, “If you don’t like the weather in Texas, wait five minutes”? It’s used to illustrate the fickleness of meteorological conditions here. Everyone knows it; you hear it a lot. Unfortunately, the converse of the saying is also true. If you like the weather in Texas, just wait five minutes.
Despite the pleasant early-summer temperatures we’ve enjoyed, it’s fixin’ to get hot. Real hot. Texas hot. Car seats will soon scald backsides, social media feeds will be littered with nothing but photos of ridiculously hot car-thermometer readings, and everyone will be looking for relief. Chilly grocery store produce sections are nice. So are climate-controlled movie theaters, art museums, and libraries. Cold compresses work too. But when it comes to beating the heat in a significant way, nothing can top submerging oneself in a cool body of water. Such aquatic relief might take the shape of a lake, a river, a natural spring, or the local natatorium, each of which will certainly do the trick, but in this sweaty writer’s humble opinion, here in the Lone Star State, the very best shape of water comes in the form of a Texas-shaped pool.
Such bodies are, of course, uniquely Texan, but they are not as abundant as you might think, especially considering the trademark pride of place that abounds here. There are, though, a handful of fine examples scattered throughout the state. Some are appropriately huge; some are a bit more demure. Some are immaculate in their maintenance and upkeep, some less so. Some are familiar, and some might surprise. All, rest assured, are as glorious as they are invitingly effective this time of year.
I speak with authority on the matter because I recently returned from an epic tour of five of the state’s very best (and somewhat less best) swimming pools constructed in the shape of Texas, a watery odyssey that took me all across Texas over the course of four days, three nights, and nearly 1,400 miles, and I regret almost none of it. Now dab your brow, grab a towel, and recall the immortal words from summers past: Last one in’s a rotten egg!
Location: Houston
Opened: 2017
Size and depth: 140,000 gallons; 3.6 feet
Season: Year-round, weather permitting
Admission: Hotel guests get free access. Day passes (from $60) are available selected weekdays for ages 21 and up.
At the first stop on our five-pool tour is, perhaps, the state’s swankiest Texas-shaped offering. Situated some 110 feet above downtown’s Discovery Green, on the hotel’s sixth-floor Altitude Rooftop & Pool deck, this watery expression of opulence hearkens back to Houston’s long-gone Shamrock Hotel. Built by famed oil tycoon Glenn McCarthy in the 1940s (McCarthy inspired Jett Rink, the fictional wildcatter played by James Dean in the big-screen adaptation of Edna Ferber’s 1952 novel, Giant), the Shamrock featured a nonfictional, real-life swimming pool so big that it accommodated waterskiing exhibitions—with real motorboats! That pool certainly qualified as Texas-size, but Texas-shaped it was not.
The Marriott Marquis’s seasonally heated pool takes the form of a lazy river—the only Texas-shaped rooftop lazy river in the world, they say—and it is a doozy. In one of the plentiful provided tubes, a circumnavigation of the state, which measures 510 feet around, takes about twelve unhurried minutes, depending on traffic. Jams do occur, mostly at the sharper corners, such as the one in the vicinity of El Paso, where the pool’s outer wall gives way to a large pane of clear glass that overlooks Discovery Green.
While trips along the river may be lazy, the vibe on the pool’s deck is not. During my few hours there, which fell on the day after the second night of Beyoncé’s two-night home stand, high-bpm pool music (think Vegas-style resort-pool deck) never stopped pumping across the rooftop. I wasn’t able to identify any artists, but I’m almost sixty years old. The poolgoers, most of whom seemed to be attempting to bounce back after overdoing it at Beyoncé, appeared unbothered. Cabanas, daybeds, and pergolas are available to rent within the island interior of the state, which is accessible via two bridges, but there are also plentiful chaise longues scattered about the hinterlands outside state lines. Towels are provided, and the full-service waitstaff is top-notch.
Location: Plano
Opened: 1961
Size and depth: 168,000 gallons; ankle to 10 feet
Season: Memorial Day to Labor Day, with abbreviated hours beginning mid-August
Admission: Day passes $10. Annual memberships available.
Day two took me from the hustle and bustle of Houston to the quietly subdued suburban environs of Plano. This charmingly nostalgic neighborhood pool (listed on the National Register of Historic Places) has offered relief to hot North Texans since it was constructed by oil-industry scion and attempted world-silver-market cornerer Herbert Hunt more than half a century ago. Though local lore informs us that the pool’s original design consisted of nothing more than an etch in the dirt with a mesquite stick, the depiction of the state appears remarkably accurate.
Among the in-pool amenities are a Big Bend–area slide, which is appropriate for small children; a volleyball net that stretches from a circular concrete island located in the Central Texas area over to the vicinity of Houston; a one-foot-deep roped off area for supervised toddlers; and a roped off area in the ten-foot-deep Panhandle that accommodates the low-dive diving board, one of few available at Plano’s public pools.
On the afternoon I visited, a sunny Tuesday, the pool proved a popular though not overly crowded destination for a wide variety (adolescents, moms, teens, grandparents, and tots) of Planoites. Especially popular was the diving board, which hosted enthusiastic young divers perfecting classic pencils, spins, cannonballs, can openers, running men, preacher’s seats, clumsy front flips, and lots of overcommitted heels-over-head dives. There are two lifeguard stands, which seems like a lot, but then again, Texas is a big state.
The pool deck features a ton of nice, padded loungers and is partially shaded by oak and crape myrtle—pretty pink blossoms float across the pool, adding to its charm. I even spied a couple of grills and picnic tables on a grassy area beneath an oak tree. The pool has seen its ups and downs over the years, but the nonprofit Texas Pool Foundation has restored it to its former glory and does an excellent job maintaining it. All in all, the Texas Pool provides an idyllically quaint setting for a refreshing dip. To wit: “Rowdy behavior, swearing, abusive language, inappropriate gestures, excessive PDA (public displays of affection) and lewd behavior are not permitted on the premises,” per pool rules.
Location: Amarillo
Opened: 1983
Depth: 2 feet to 5 feet
Season: Roughly Memorial Day to Labor Day
Admission: Motel guests get free access.
Just off the Interstate 40 West feeder road, at the back of the parking lot that separates the Big Texan Steak Ranch and the Big Texan Steak Ranch’s modest motel, before you get to the Big Texan Horse Hotel or the Big Texan RV Ranch, just to the east of the Big Texan blacksmith shop and just below the large mural of a señorita who unsettlingly resembles Michael Jackson in his post-Dangerous phase, sits, behind chain-link fencing, a small, nondescript Texas-shaped pool.
After checking into the functionally accommodating motel (flyswatter included), I moseyed on down to test the waters before partaking of a steak dinner, which is de rigueur in these parts. The Big Texan pool’s eye-catching deck is painted to resemble the Lone Star flag and is appointed with a smattering of pool furniture that has seen better days. I was the only swimmer on this early Tuesday evening, though one of the few poolside picnic tables was populated by a small group enjoying postprandial cigarettes. Before I jumped in, two things struck me. First, because of its proximity to the interstate, this pool area is very, very loud from highway noise. Second, I noticed a thought-provoking yet not uncommon sign posted just below Señorita Jackson imploring potential bathers to avoid swimming if “you have been ill with diarrhea within the past two weeks.” Geronimo!
Though the water was clear and exceptionally cool, the pool could have used a skimming and vacuuming. The tiles were in need of a good scum-removing scrub and, perhaps, in a few spots, some grout repair. On the upside, towels are provided gratis—and thank God, because they are of the small golf-towel-size variety, and I required more than one. As I took my seat inside the Steak Ranch, I saw two men who had bellied up to the high, center stage, spotlighted table and were taking on the restaurant’s 72-ounce steak challenge, a contest in which they would ultimately fail. Knowing my own limits, I went with the relatively modest sixteen-ounce bone-in “Duke’s Cut” ribeye. Sitting there, taking in my surroundings and reflecting on my big day at the Big Texan compound, I couldn’t help but feel that I had been unwittingly cast as the lead actor in a yet-to-be-made Coen brothers film. The steak was good.
Location: Kerrville
Opened: 2002
Depth: Ankle to 5 feet
Season: “From when it’s warm enough to when it’s too cold.”
Admission: Hotel guests get free access.
Most of day three was spent in the car, making my way over the 450 miles from Amarillo to Kerrville and the fourth Texas-shaped pool of my strange expedition. If you’ve stayed at one Holiday Inn Express, you’ve basically stayed at every Holiday Inn Express—that’s a thought that may have crossed your mind if you’ve ever stayed at a Holiday Inn Express. Such consistency is commendable. But unlike every other Holiday Inn Express on the planet (there are almost three thousand), the one in Kerrville features a great big backyard whose most prominent feature happens to be a Texas-shaped swimming pool. This example is in excellent form, though, like the Big Texan’s, it happens to be situated close to an interstate highway. Maybe it’s the hills, or maybe it’s the hotel’s wood fence, or maybe it’s something else, but this part of Interstate 10 proved to be much less noisy than I-40.
The pool itself is quite nice—clean and well maintained, with a stylish blue-tiled star at the bottom and a small, gurgling jet in the shallows of the Panhandle. The hotel also provides adequately sized pool towels free of charge. If there’s a knock to be made, it’s that there is a shortage of loungers for a pool of this size. The body of water is not enormous, but three loungers is insufficient.
Editors’ note: The author visited this pool before the Hill Country floods, and the hotel is currently open for guests.
Location: San Antonio
Opened: 1999
Size and depth: 500,000 gallons; ankle to 6 feet
Season: April 26 through September 1, 2025
Admission: Starting at $45, including Hurricane Harbor add-on.
Day four began with a complimentary breakfast and then a short drive down I-10 to San Antonio and the largest Texas-shaped pool in the world, though it may, as a “lagoon” rather than a proper pool, be disqualified on technical grounds. Regardless, I unintentionally saved the state’s grandest Texas-shaped pool for last. This giant offers swimmers the added thrill of waves, which form every ten minutes or so in sets that originate in the depths of the Panhandle and move somewhat gently across the pool to the shallowest depths of South Texas. The water is cool, clear, and refreshing, and the meandering surrounds are exceptionally tidy.
By David Courtney
Since this pool serves as the star attraction of a water park within an amusement park, opportunities for fun abound. Beyond the pool but still inside Hurricane Harbor, there are numerous water-based rides and attractions to explore, as well as plentiful food concessions, including a few purveyors of adult beverages. I posted up near Dom Julio’s Beach Bar, which has both swim-up and walk-up access, and ordered a sweet treat in the form of a margarita on the rocks. Then I tested my intestinal fortitude on a number of the rides. After single-handedly hoisting a large four-person tube up multiple flights of stars in my bare feet, I was informed by the friendly Tornado attendant that solo riders were forbidden. Thankfully, two young boys behind me in line volunteered to accompany me. “Minimum Height: 48″. Thrill Level: Maximum.” Away we go! It was clear mid-ride that my tube companions were unprepared and at the same time grateful for the added velocity my near-two-hundred-pound middle-aged physique provided as we were hurled along the steep-dropping 132-foot tunnel. In the landing pool, having survived, we shared high fives. Onward to the Bahama Blaster, the Riptide Runner, and Thunder Rapids. Fairly well exhausted, I returned to my umbrella-shaded poolside lounger and consumed the last sips of my sweet margarita as I quietly reflected on the life choices I’ve made having to do with where I’ve chosen to live out my hot, sweaty, and currently much less miserable life.
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